The Soul Wound of the Pandemic

            Do you have time to read this? Can you take a breath and give yourself a pause? Did you read more often during the pandemic? As I’ve grown busier this past year, I’ve noticed a certain dark comfort in getting back into the routine of being productive, rather than just being. Dark because something feels unresolved.

            A lot of us who survived the pandemic have moved on – maybe too quickly? We want to distract ourselves from what we’ve been through and return to some sense of “normal.” Of course we do. Besides the pandemic, we were experiencing profound racial injustices, unprecedented political division, and for many there was also job loss and food insecurity. Anxiety was at an all-time high. We needed to grieve. We needed to breathe. At the same time we needed to take deep breaths, we were masking! How could we stop and grieve when we were consumed with wondering if we would survive?

I see in our society both an individual and collective soul wound from the pandemic. The earth can’t lose that many souls, and endure so much friction and strife without us feeling it on a cellular and spiritual level. Isn’t it important to take the time to grieve this moment in our history?

Unlike some traumas that are sudden and unexpected, the pandemic crept up on us. There was no moment of shock, just a growing sense of danger, followed by feelings of dread. Then when the statistics started being reported we had no way to gather and mourn. We had no balm for the grief in the usual ways – rituals, funerals, gathering together to share the loss. No way to support the bereaved or honor the dead. Grief requires a witness. We were isolated.

And this grief is ongoing. One study estimated that for every person lost to Covid, there are nine grieving loved ones who were close to them. In the US alone, nearly 2.0 million people have died from Covid to date. (https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid19/index.htm)

Multiply that by nine and the amount of grief walking around is staggering.

Within these statistics are also so many personal griefs within the statistics. Not being able to attend funerals, celebrations, travel to help out family members, students who lost two years of peer socialization and academics, people who lost jobs and housing. The losses are many and grave.

So, how do we move forward? How do we heal this soul wound and move forward? Can we grieve what was lost, while keeping the good that may have been gained by slowing down? The key is to do it mindfully. Move forward, yes, be busy if you find it helps, but dedicate some time to paying mindful respect to an unforgettable period in our lives.

As with all grief, ritual and reflection can help us with this. Now that you can travel, visit the family and perhaps memorials of those you may have lost. If you don’t know anyone personally, there are webpages dedicated to those who were lost. Visit them and pay respects.

In private, light a candle, say a prayer, acknowledge what the world has been through and your part in it. Perform some kind of service work in honor of those who died. Plant a tree or a garden to commemorate the years of lockdown, and to symbolize hope for the future.

Write about your own journey. How did lockdown effect you? Did it change you in any way? Did it change others in your circle? How did you handle the fear and anxiety of lockdown? Did you get Covid? What was that like for you, what were your emotions around it? Did your faith or beliefs change during this time? Do you have a new normal? Spend some time in deep reflection on this! Writing your own history during this time will be fascinating for your descendants to read some day as well!

Sometimes, we simply need to acknowledge what we’ve been through. And we have all been through a lot. Not as much as first responders and front-line workers, who showed up and cared for us no matter the risk to their own health! Saints one and all. But still, as a collective, we have been through a lot!

So take a moment today to connect with your soul. Breathe in, place your hand on your heart, and let yourself grieve. It’s okay. It was a lot. Feel it a little at a time. Then take another breath and fill your lungs with courage and faith. Here is a guided meditation for you to try.

Today I quiet my mind, taking a moment to acknowledge what I have lived through. I know it’s something I will always carry, and I know it has changed me in ways seen and unseen. I recognize and accept the loss and grief of this human experience. I will seek some joy and gratitude today as I ask God to help me move forward mindfully, cognizant of the grief, and hopeful for better days.