Welcome to my blog – Still Beloved
Hereʻs what I hope to make this place:
Still Beloved is a place where those of us with varying degrees of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can journey together in our quest to heal – spiritually. A safe place where we will discover the gifts available to us in the midst of what seems like darkness.
Sound good? Good. Glad youʻre here.
PTSD – what a gift! Right? We didn’t ask for it, but it’s here. So how can we make the best of it?
I’m Victoria McGee and I have what might be considered a unique way of looking at PTSD, but it might help you get your life back. Because I see it as a gift. Well, now I do. Of course, I didn’t at first. But it has become an integral piece of who I am. A crucial stone in my foundation.
And although it’s almost hackneyed now to say “we’re here to learn lessons” – “you can learn from any experience”, etc. the thing is – it’s true.
Am I glad I have it? Of course not. We would all much rather go our whole lives without experiencing ____________ (trauma – rape, war, abuse, floods, hurricanes – fill in the blank). But we did. And though we don’t have a choice in the trauma we experienced, we have a choice immediately after. Let it rule us, or let it be a catalyst for self-discovery and growth of immense proportion. Both choices are hard. But it isn’t difficult to make the choice once you see it as choosing either self-destruction or self-construction.
I have PTSD because I was awakened in the middle of the night by a stranger who attacked me. It is a horrific thing for anyone to endure. Iʻm glad that I was 28 and had access to rational thinking. My heart goes out to young victims who have only feeling and instinct. I went through the normal stages of shock, numbness, and disbelief, followed by a constant state of fear. It took me almost a year to get to rage, which is an important part of climbing out of the pit. But then you have to leave it behind.
Healing happens in stages. Then surprises you by needing more healing (a month or several decades later).
I will use this blog to talk about some of these stages, and how your faith, whatever it may be, can truly set you free.
Iʻll be sharing
- my journey and how Iʻm healing
- the journey of others I know, read, and respect
- what the experts say
- how the Divine plays a key role in your healing
- paths to forgiveness
- encouragement, love, and hope
I chose to call this Still Beloved. Some might think it implies that at some point you were not Beloved. I believe with my entire being that we are all always Beloved. That nothing can separate us from the love of God (whatever you choose to call your Divine Source). I also believe that we, as humans, go through times of feeling not worthy of being Beloved. That is when we need to hear “You are still Beloved. “
Notice the gifts. Choose to self-construct. You ARE still beloved.
Leaving you with a poem by the indomitable Helen Keller:
They took away what should have been my eyes
(But I remember Milton’s Paradise)
They took away what should have been my ears
(Beethoven came and wiped away my tears)
They took away what should have been my tongue
(But I had talked with God when I was young)
He would not let them take away my soul –
Possessing that, I still possess the whole.
I look forward to your feedback, and invite you to share your journey as well.
“Walk you in glory, with your head held high, and fear no evil.” – A Course in Miracles
One thought on “You Are Still Beloved”
Wow…..what a beginning ….this has so many components in common with the journey of sobriety. I have had the thought many times that alcoholics and addicts in recovery have an advantage over almost anyone else in terms of having a door opened by the 12 steps that leads to a way of life that is only discoverable once you bottom out and get on the path of recovery. Your description of your journey makes me think the road of “recovery” is actually the highway to conscious contact with a higher power that almost anyone can travel. It is the rare person who just chooses this path in my experience. Most of my fellow travelers have been to their virtual hell already. Like the old song from back in the day….”you got to go to hell before you get to heaven”. Here is another annoying euphemism I have picked up along the way….”holding on to a resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other guy will die”…the other guy of course being the one against whom you harbor resentment….