
Because I survived trauma, I often find it hard to sleep.
Because I survived trauma, I double check all the windows and doors and lock them, even in the middle of the day, with two large dogs, just to take a shower.
Because I survived trauma, I jump at sudden noises and movement.
Because I survived trauma, I sometimes wake my husband in the middle of the night groaning in a night terror.
Because I survived trauma, please don’t ever jump out and surprise me because I will leave my body for a while.
Because I survived trauma, it is sometimes difficult to completely relax or feel safe – anywhere.
Because I survived trauma, there are times I will cry and mourn for who I was before; the person who felt safe in the world.
Because I survived trauma, my moments of joy are dampened with caution.
Because I survived trauma, I sometimes fluctuate between being hyper-alert, and numb.
AND
Because I survived trauma, I found inner strength I wouldn’t have found otherwise.
Because I survived trauma, I learned about healing and courage and grace.
Because I survived trauma, I discovered that forgiveness really was something I had to do so I could move on.
Because I survived trauma, I viscerally realized that anger could be a healing agent when used correctly.
Because I survived trauma, I turned to God in a more profound way than I ever would have without it.
Because I survived trauma, I assembled a toolbox of meditation, spirituality, journaling, therapy, and mindfulness that helped me survive other, lesser traumas in my life.
Because I survived trauma, I made the surprising discovery that service to others is a powerful balm for traumatic wounds.
Because I survived trauma, the tools of self-awareness, self-compassion and self-care are at the forefront of my daily ritual. I deserve nothing less.
Because I survived trauma, I changed the course of my life and sought to teach and inspire and empower young people.
Because I survived trauma, I became an alchemist, transmuting the bad that had happened to me into a fireball of motivation to live well in spite of it.
Because I survived trauma, I gained wisdom I wouldn’t have learned any other way.
Most profoundly, because I survived trauma, over time, I gave birth to a deeper version of myself.
You are Still Beloved
Victoria McGee
11/14/2021