CONSTANTLY TURNING TOWARD GOD

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“Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

I love this quote from Gandhi, reminding us to open the day in prayer, and close it in prayer as well. This is something to take to heart, as it can guide the time in between rising and bedtime. But what happens in between? If you’re like me, I wander far from the path, I forget to pray and turn my mind, heart and thoughts to God. I enter the realm of business and worry. You too?

I was struck by this thought a couple of months ago. That I need to be constantly turning toward God. And yet daily, I catch myself trying to figure out a problem, worrying about a family member or friend’s health, making plans for the future, having regrets about the past, busying my mind with everything except the Divine. And I believe my ego mind wants it this way. The more it keeps me in a trance of fixing, judging and doing, the less likely I am to turn to God.

“God is the water, and you are the faucet.” ~ Marianne Williamson

When we naturally and instantaneously turn to God is when something literally “brings us to our knees.” A sudden death, illness or trauma shakes us to the core and we automatically ask God to come in, to comfort us, to bring healing to the situation. And we feel God then don’t we? We feel the comfort, the envelopment of God’s love that helps us raise our heads again and move forward. It is truly beautiful, even in the midst of a horrible moment.

For survivors of trauma, you would think turning toward God and calling on God every moment of every day would be like breathing. We must have it or we die. But we are MASTERS of distraction! I noticed this in my life so clearly. When a trauma occurs, I fall to my knees, I bring God in, I pray without ceasing. But as days go by it becomes clear I can’t drop out of life (like I want to).  I have to continue with jobs and groceries and living, so I developed the marvelous coping skill of distraction. I dare say that in most of us, this skill is over-developed!

And we need to forgive ourselves for bending toward distraction. How else can we sleep at night, when our mind, left unchecked, will play reruns of our trauma on a loop? How else can we check out at the grocery store when a magazine headline has triggered us and we suddenly want to cry? How else can we make small talk when such shallow actions make us want to scream? We distract ourselves with activities, thoughts, plans and MAKE our minds think of something else. It’s a survival skill, but at what cost?

“Meditation goes in. Prayer goes out. But they both aim for the same place of union between you and the Divine.” ~ Lisa Jones

Hopefully, eventually, we learn to distract our minds with God again. We learn that these thoughts are not just a distraction, but they are a point of focus that can heal us. We learn that we can place ourselves in the light by simply turning toward God. Like all good habits, it takes practice and vigilance. But beyond that, it takes a deep knowing that this IS what will save you. God’s light. God’s love. God’s grace. Meditate on it and feel it within. Pray to God and send it out. Then rest in the knowledge that within and without are the same place. And that place is God.

“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” ~ Aristotle

We move forward in life, our little wounded selves rallying every day to see what can happen, what good we can do, what love we can share. We truly are so brave. Let us try every day to keep turning toward God. Constantly. For that is where we will find peace. That is where we will find light. Find a mantra, a verse, a quote, anything that will take you out of your busy monkey mind and bring you back to God. For a moment. And then another. And then another.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything.” ~ Philippians 4:6

You are Still Beloved.

Victoria McGee

January 18, 2019

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WHEN YOU CAN’T FIX IT

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“Surrender – giving up what we think should be happening for what is actually happening.”          ~ McCall Erickson

 

I’ve been musing about this thought lately. There are times in life when tragedies happen, people you love are suffering and YOU CAN’T FIX IT! There’s nothing you can do. Nothing.

THEN WHAT DO WE DO?

We are beings who love doing, aren’t we? We’re all raised with such focus put on our ability to be capable and fix things. Problem? I’ll solve it! Predicament? Here’s what to do! Something broke? I’ll fix it! So when life throws us situations that we can’t actually fix, what can we do?

I’ve been struggling with this recently, both with my father in hospice care and passing last year, and with someone dear to me being in a depression. They were in physical and mental states I could not fix. I felt completely helpless. It was not in my power to make these situations any different.

I felt everything within these life challenges – grief, despair, LOTS of anxiety, frustration, anger, and guilt. Surely there must be something I can do! Have you been there? I believe most of us have if we’ve lived very long at all.

So what DO we do when we can’t fix something? I’m no expert, but here are the things I found I could do.

Be present. Simply be with the person who needs help. This is a natural instinct. I remember observing children when my son was in pre-school, and if one of them was upset, several other children would move and simply sit by that child. Not saying anything, just letting him or her know they’re not alone. It was powerful and comforting. Mere presence is often underrated. In his last months, my father was so comforted by the presence of people he loved. We didn’t have to do anything but just be there. Some people who may be depressed or recovering from trauma will push us away, but we need to gently find ways to be present with them anyway. In my life, when I’ve tried to isolate, I am eternally grateful for those friends who showed up and didn’t let me drown in the abyss I was creating. And if you can’t be with someone in person, call them. It helps.

 

“I thought faith would say “I’ll take away the pain and discomfort.” But what it ended up saying was “I’ll sit with you in it.” ~ Brene Brown

 

Listen without judgment. Sometimes people need to speak their dark thoughts out loud. We all, at times, need that person who will listen without judgment. My father needed to talk about death. Others I’ve known needed to admit they’d thought of ending it all, or running away from their life. To sit with that, and provide space for that, is a gift. Have you felt that? The times when you just say something out loud, you are heard, and you feel a weight lift off your shoulders? And the scary thoughts become less scary. They’re more scary when we keep them in. Friends and family aren’t therapists, but to be able to listen and not judge, to just respond with “That must be painful to think about,” or “I’m sorry you’ve felt so desperate, but I’m here for you,” can provide much-needed comfort.

Allow.  Allow people to be where they need to be. Remembering that we all have a path to walk and we don’t really “get” our lessons until we walk that path is so important. And we see so clearly what others must do or how they should be to fix their issues, don’t we? But by being present and listening, we allow them the space, the glorious window through which they will ultimately see their own unique path themselves. Know they are on their path, and the path God has for them doesn’t need fixing.

Visualize.  If we believe we are spiritual beings having a human existence, then we must know the power of seeing the truth about a loved one. When those I love are in a crisis, I take time each day to visualize them as they truly are, a beautiful spiritual being. I see them whole, happy, healthy, or simply wrapped in the love of God. If you feel you need to do something for someone, this can be very powerful, especially if you don’t live close enough to be present in person.

 

“Prayer is where the action is.” ~ John Wesley

 

Pray.  Prayer is a very active response to feelings of helplessness. Gandhi said, “Prayer is not an old woman’s amusement. Properly understood and applied, it is the most potent instrument of action.” In many situations, it is imperative to pray and take action, but this is not always possible. Sometimes, all we can do is pray. And those are the times to remember that prayer is not passive, prayer is not a last resort, it is a powerful action we take as we turn a situation, a concern, a person, over to God. Praying for the best outcome for a person or situation, not what we think should happen, but for what God knows is best. Trust. Have faith. Surrender. Pray.

I’ve found in my life these five things help. Sometimes it’s just a thought, sometimes it’s me railing against what is, struggling to allow and visualize, but at least I feel like I’m doing something.  Maybe I can’t do anything physically, but I can spiritually. Maybe I can’t fix it and make it go away, but I can love it and ultimately find the gifts in it. I can try.

You Are Still Beloved.

Victoria McGee

December 5, 2018